This morning as I hugged her goodbye and she walked to the bus stop (I stood on the porch and watched) I began to think... she not my bi polar child, she's just My Child. It really doesn't matter what extra challenges she faces; she is, was, and will always be My Child.
Last night she and I went to an Achievement Night at church for the young women. We were terrible! We whispered to eachother the whole time! I learned a few things from her, amazing what talking and listing will do isn't it? (even if it is in the middle of something you should be paying more attention to) :) Like, she wants to learn to cook and sew, not as interested in learning musical instruments anymore, but wants to sing... she has a choir concert tonight... she is shy and reminds me alot of her dad in social situations, though he is a Stoic Indian and she's not quite that bad. She is crafty and creative, but needs direction or will get lost...
We also talked a bit about her skin. WE both have sensitive skin, but she has eczema as well. I found out a kid at school commented on her zits, she doesn't have any. It's the eczema, it's all over her checks. She has been washing and moisturizing like she should but the eczema is out of control. I know it usually flares when she in a bad place anyway, but this time though she seems to have become more balanced the eczema hasn't cleared. Things like that are important to a young lady, are they not? SO I'm calling her doctor today for a check up and we'll ask for a reference to a dermatologist.
Such normal things. I don't exactly forget the bi polar or autism... but to me that is normal, that's just how my kids are. I don't see these incredible challenges as some kind of reflection of me or 'bad' parenting, it has nothing to do with me. This is just how my kids are, nothing big. Yeah we may have some things in our life that others don't have to deal with ...like manic weeks because of a lose tooth, or the need NEVER let pop in the door unless we are fully ready for the backlash, or even the mass amounts of pills and attention to diet... but doesn't everyone have things like that in their life? Things that others see and think "What?" Things they are used to and barely notice because it's just the way you are.
Yeah, I may be planning dinner in such a fashion that I can sneak some flax seed in and I may be trying to figure out how to set up her day planner to out line what she needs to do everyday in a way she can understand and wont make her feel like she is stupid... But she is still just my kid, and that's all she is.
Not my bi polar child, just my child that I Love.
I forgot... this is her song of the day... and I guess I better keep an eye on her anger? LOL!
Moana's Maui Cake
11 months ago