I am tired.
I couldn't fall asleep last night.
Eldest had a doctors appointment yesterday, so she got to come home with My Love. I think that saved her some stress. You see the 6th graders started talking that there was a bomb at the high school, no one is sure how that started. So the teachers had to tell the kids what was going on... why all the gates were locked, all the outside doors locked, and a cop walking the halls. All they said to the kids was, 'There was a stabbing at the high school, but they don't have any relatives in this school so no one needs to worry.' Of course they all started worrying and rumors flew...
So we told her the facts that we knew at the time.
On the way to the doctors and until the doctor walked into the room she was asking questions...
mostly why the boy did it.
All her test came back normal, golly haven't we heard that before? But the EKG was still being gone over by specialists so she will contact us for the results as soon as she gets them.
She had a mole removed and did really good with the shot to numb it. She is getting so much better about that! I did say she didn't have to do the dishes and that helped :)
Of course, I was expecting more then just a snip and a bandage, but that's all it took, it barley even bled! I think I was conned, grrrr. LOL!
Almost as soon as we got in the car, we had to go to the feed store and post office before home, she started asking again. Then she said,"Was he bi polar?"
She is worried that she is a monster, a devil, those are the words she used.
So I talked to her frankly about what she needs to do and what bi polar means. We talked about what she can do... eat right, take her vitamins and pills, the day planner...
I told her if that boy was bipolar then he wasn't taking care of himself. I told her point blank that when you don't take care of yourself you can hurt yourself or someone else. She has obviously been thinking this so I wanted to be sure to confirm it in a non dramatic way.
We talked about how she feels and what will help...like she needs a snack and quite time right after school cuz she is so worn out from all the mental effort of school. I liked her idea, so we talked about how much time she would get and writing it all down so she wont even need to think about it, she'll just do it.
Everyone was tired early last night, so the house was shut down by 8. Everyone: My Love, Thunderous One, and Monster all fell right to sleep.
Eldest had some problems falling asleep, she used to have a fish tank on her desk that she would use as a nightlight for the nights she was stressed, more pron to nightmares on those nights... but she said the light didn't work. She kept getting up and turning her light on.
I gave her a flash light and she finally settled in.
I lay in bed for a long time... at one point I remembered that I have a very beautiful night light right next to my bed. So I got up and took it to her room, she appeared to be asleep so I put it on her desk and plugged it in. My best friend sent me that night light one year for my birthday. It is a statue of a Grandfather and his grandchild sitting around a fire. The Grandfather is telling a story. There is a plate that the light illuminates that looks like the night sky with stars and constellations and animals on it. It is a very calming nightlight.
This morning she thanked me for letting her borrow it. I was happy, she had brought it up so I know it helped her.
She had been moving to a better side of the scale the last few days, so it has been a good time to talk to her and set many things up. I just hope we can keep it going. She is obviously disturbed by what happened at the high school, I don't know if she had fully recovered from her anxiety from the fire before this happened. She has even said what is bothering her the most is there seems to be no connection between the boy and the girl he attacked, it was random. She said it would still be wrong but make more sense if they had know each other. She doesn't like boys or men anyway and I am sure this isn't going to help.
The Ninja Injun Pony was gone this morning and his gate open, so we were all up by 5 to find him. Because of that adventure there wasn't really time to talk about what happened and for me to see how the other two where doing. My Love had asked when they got home from school if they had heard about anything happening at the high school, they hadn't so he didn't tell them right then. I think he wanted me to be the one to tel them.
The sun wasn't up when we did our first search. The sky was barley lighten after our second. So we went home and started getting ready for school. Thunderous one was anxious to get back out and look farther. So I let him and Eldest go for one more loop.
I was waiting with Monster for the bus when Thunderous and Eldest came walking back up the street with the horse. You should have seen how happy the horse and boy both were! We put him in the back yard and they were still filling me in on how they found him when the bus pulled up.
Today is picture day, they don't look too picture worthy. I was going to let Thunderous stay home to help look for his best friend, but since he was found I sent him to school. At least Monster had on a nice shirt. I don't have money to buy the pictures anyway, so I told them to find out about retakes.
Eldest an I had some nice Mother daughter time this morning after the two left on the bus. She made me a Gaia character and we walked to her bus stop together.
She didn't seem overly anxious or stressed.
Today is early release... I was thinking of making bread, but with R2 dead and me blowing up the mixer a few days ago I think I'll have to come up with some other treat... no bake cookies? Brownies?
Today will be a Domestic Day... got to earn that Domestic Goddess title somehow.
Moana's Maui Cake
8 months ago