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Sunday, December 7, 2008

grinding gears

Edit: Another one I didn't schedule correctly. From Nov. 22.

Today (Thursday) once again the school called My Love at work with an incident with Thunderous One. My Love was saying he would really love a break...what is this break you speak of? Never had one... His words were "I don't like this changing gears all the time!"
I began to laugh, soon we both were. Thunderous and My Love both have OCD and are 'rigid'. I laughed at his words because it is exactly what is causing the problems with Thunderous in class.
He really can't change rapidly, no matter how simple the change is. I suggested to My Love that they have a 'daily production meeting' with him to go over what his day will look like, but the school isn't going to, they don't have the staff and time. I started to get frustrated, the lack of staff and support is what lead to the nightmare action that had me homeschooling him for 3 years.
My Love took notes on our observations...things like when stressed he is more rigid he needs unwavering routines (wait is that My Love or Thunderous I'm speaking about?), So he could share it with the Principal when he called back. We listed the stresses we know about: lost of friend at school (we don't know what happened), ripping pants and being humiliated on recess, his best friend going to a new home, us throwing his coat in the wash so he would be forced to wear something else (My Loves idea....don't ask) and the fact that it's the holiday season, he hates the holidays.
It's not that he hates Thanksgiving or Christmas specifically, it's just at this time of year places (school, homes, store) look different then they do the rest of the year, there is more activity, assemblies, parties and other disruptions to the routine. Things that others find fun he finds stressful.
I believe My Love and Thunderous both can relate to Einstein's wearing of the same outfit everyday. No need to dress up or down, worry or wonder, just wear the samething every day... Didn't Steven Austin do that too?

Getting those two to deviate from their set pattern is like grinding gears when you shift; noise, painful sounding, and damaging... and yes sometimes it sounds worst then it is. Like this phone call today,they insisted that My Love come to the school, he insisted he needed to know why first...turns out he wasn't needed, they thought that the situation was escalating, it wasn't.
What happened is ...well, you ever have a situation that everything you say comes out wrong and just makes it worst? The poor teacher was having one of those days, and unfortunately that caused a conflict. It was quickly fixed though with the right things being said. They will work on that.
For example telling some one, " I think you need a time out." sends a very different message and gets a very different responds then when you say," I think you need a break." One is a punishment and one is recognising you have worked hard and need to stop.
I feel sorry for the teacher today. Mr. T is having 'one of those days' and Thunderous One's support teacher is out sick. I was going to offer to loan him my copy of "Addressing the Challenging Behavior of Children with High Functioning Autism/ Asperger Syndrome in the classroom" but I think the timing is a bit off...

Anyway, We talked and decided it's getting too stressful, they need some help. So this weekend, hopefully, we will go pick up an herbal supplement we have used with him in the past and give that to him for the holiday season. It is called Super Calm and he has always done well with it. You take a certain dosage based on weight, for 6 weeks then one week off. If we can start it this week end it will get him all the way to past Christmas and the last week of Christmas break will be the week off.
We think we will use it on Eldest as well. I will look a bit more into it for her though, I don't want to give her something that will send her into a manic state. I found out what we are experiencing right now may be called hypomanic. It's the state before manic. But antidepressants cause a manic state so they need mood stabilizers not depressants or stimulants. So finding a supplement for her will take some more research. It took us time to find what herbs did best for Thunderous I would expect the same amount of investigation before I find what works for Eldest. I'll need to pick up a light bulb as well. The light bulb in the night light burned out, causing a mild panic attack. If 7 watts is all it takes for her to sleep better, I'm getting it!

I worry about what Monster will do though, poor thing is so average! No therapies, no medications... it must be hard for her.

Oh and by the way, I rarely ever ground the gears when I drove the stick. But when My Love drove... well that is a different story ;)

1 comment:

This Guy said...

I know a lot of people who wear the same outfit every day; First are the Men in Black. Then, Mr. Rogers, Homer Simpson, American Dad, The Thundercats... I could go on.