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Saturday, July 18, 2009


Have you ever wandered in old grave yards and read the tombstones?
Have you ever ran across a tombstone with your family name on it?
I have.
I often wonder if this is a lost relative. Why is he buried in a mostly family groups cemetery all alone?
Why doesn't anyone come visit his grave?
Who was he?
I am a firm believer that nothing happens by coincidence, I may never know the reason why something happened, but it is not the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection ; also : any of these occurrences.

How I found him was simple enough, yet stuns me in a way.
We had been randomly driving around our town and wanted somewhere peaceful to walk, the parks were all too crowded and the mountains farther then our level of gas could take us. So I suggested a graveyard. As a kid we would spend time walking through old graveyards and I have always loved the peace that can be found there. I also loved to look at the old headstones, the art and poetry of some of them is stunning, and lost. I have always wanted a head stone like the old ones. I can not abide the new lawn cemeteries. Who wants a lawn mower to be able to drive over them? No way! If I can't have my carved headstone I want to be cremated and a garden of aspen and roses planted for me and my ashes mixed in there. NO LAWNS!

The only two cemeteries I knew of were on the other side of town from where we were, but My Love knew of one I did not. He would pass it on the way to his work. It was lovely! Big trees towering over head declared it to be old enough to not have lawns, and the wrought iron gate was charming! I especially loved the sign that warned you the the gate closed automatically at dusk so you had better be out or you were spending the night.

It was not very big but had a nice meandering road through it. My Love randomly stopped the car near a nice big tree and we got out and began to walk among the headstones. We saw families together and enjoyed how the headstones progressed in obvious style changes. I loved the ones that had a tiny marble marker and would work their way up to a modern one all bearing the same sur name. This town is really an Old Family Town. People took pity on us when we first got here because we were a young couple with no family, it was something they found hard to believe. How can you make it without family? (of course now the town has grown so if you have no family here you aren't trusted)

I saw two tomb stones that didn't quite seem to fit in. They were white marble and very simple, and old. I went for a closer look. That is when I saw one of them had my family name on it.

I recall I was surprised,
or maybe shocked.
Then I got excited.
Was this a relative?
How had he gotten here?
His tombstone didn't give much information.
I called my parents later and asked if it was a possible relative but was told probably not.
But you know.
Years later and I can't seem to get that lone tomb stone out of my head.

It was like he and the guy next to him had no one, so they were put in a far back corner.
The mausoleums and huge head stones were up front.
the ones back here more modest.
And his tomb stone...simple.

I think tomorrow, or soon, I need to visit him again, I don't think anyone else is and it's been awhile since my last visit there.

I really need to find out who he is.
He may have family, somewhere.
Do you think they are looking for him?

1 comment:

Jessica G. said...

I completely agree! I've already directed headstone that lies flat. I don't want to be lost under the cut grass.

And you really ought to research it. Would make an interesting story.