Search This Blog

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I hate the denist

yes
I gave it a chance
yeah I'm done now.

So i went oh so bravely
but I had no idea you ALL LIED TO ME!

I put on my favorite clothes so I would feel good, washed my face and put on makeup too!
AND I didn't eat any onions.
I am SO eating onions and garlic and maybe fish of some pungent kind before I go next time!

So I arrived and This time I have the bell balls in my hand before I even walk in the door.
Obviously they have talked about me because before I can sit down they are ready for me... next time they have reason to worry I'll bolt but by this point I am still naive.

The assistant gave me a look that said like-why-do-I-have-to-tell-you- every-tiny-thing-to-do?
"I've never had a cavity before." I said to explain why I have no clue on what to do.
She doesn't believe me," Never? You had them as a kid."
"No. This is the first one in my life."
"Oh." she blinks like I'm some odd anomaly she has never encountered.
She obviously has never dealt with this situation before and doesn't seem to know how to tell me what to do and never says what to expect...
Let me stop here to glare once again at all you how said things like
"it wont hurt"
"it no big deal"
"you'll be fine"
*GLARE*
...

So I get seated. They have the stupid radio up so loud I can't hear my bells.
I wear the bib I've seen on all the tv shows.
AND I get cool paper sunglasses to protect my eyes... from what I wonder?
Maybe just the lights... yeah that's it just the lights, not flying elbows or broken bits of tools and teeth...

These people waste no time. No pleasantry beyond "Hello, We'll be taking care of lower quadrant 4. Should be no problem. Here bit on this."

The first stupid thing they do is have me bite on a cotton swap with numbing stuff on it. Before they take it out of my mouth it feels like some of it has dripped down my throat..so it's going numb... along with my lower lip and teeth. THEN they give me a shot He didn't stop with the injection thing till I whimpered, apparently that was a que he was waiting for.

wait 10 mins so your nice and numb... I had a small panic attack worrying that my medication would cause a drug interaction... Then attack you with clamps and sucky things and silver pointy tools and blue wedges and things that spray stuff, possibly water, possibly air, perhaps both? I wouldn't know they didn't talk during the ... process.

I really tried to appreciate how flawlessly they worked together how they flowed like a gracefully choreographed duet... while watching CNNHeadLine News tell me about bombs in schools, Samoa and Tonga hit by a tsunami and an airplane that crashed... Seriously people? NEWS is your choice to RELAX people? Try Cartoon Network! Geeze!

Oh he did say 2 things. "okay this will vibrate." then you hear the screeching drill, that I can take. The smell of my tooth dust, not so much.

Then "Now a different kinda vibration." I think he was buffing my tooth. THAT one hurt. I think the stupid numbing was wearing off. My jaw hurt. I couldn't unclench the muscles in my legs or neck. I kept trying, it just never happened. I also kept feeling pricks on my tongue, I still am. Must be the numb stuff wearing off.

Oh and no matter how obvious it should be to a dentist that you have a SMALL MOUTH they still feel the need to keep asking you to"open a little wider, if you can."
At least he had the grace to add the 'if you can'. Probably saved him getting hit!

So it's over.
The best thing I can say is it was not as long as I thought.

My teeth hurt.
My jaw hurts.
My throat hurts.
My lip feels swollen.
I'm not sure where my tongue is.
My teeth hurt.
My lips keep tingling.
I'm afraid to close my mouth too hard, I don't want to bite my cheek, but i fear I already have.
It is actually hard to swallow.
I rather hate the way this feels and I shall whine to anyone I can.
I've already called My Love twice and my sister once... But I'm talking funny and slobbering!

about all I can do is whimper and go lay on the couch. Maybe my boss wasn't being silly when he gave me the day off for a dentist appointment.

here's the theme song of the day. Enjoy.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

happy belate birthday to Sometimes goddess

Yep, I missed my own birthday.
Seem Sometimes Goddess has turned a year old when I wasn't looking.
Aren't we all thrilled I have been rambling inanely for year now?

Maybe I should go bake a birthday pie!
Ohhh THAT I can do!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Dear Dad

I had a bowl of ice cream with Fritos.

Love,
Me


Translation:
Love and miss Dad.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Dentist

Well this week is just about as bad as last thanks for asking...
oh wait...
*looks at 0 comments*
I guess no one asked.
*glares at family that are morally obligated to read and post on family members blogs*

Well, I'll talk as if you cared.

I mentioned last time that I was going to the dentist for the first time in years.
Almost 16 years actually.
When you tell a dental hygienist that you haven't been in 16 years their face goes through a few emotions... like horror, pity, fear of what they will find...

When you say that to a dentist they just glare at you, like you stepped on a kitten.

So lets step back... I got off work and went to get My Love like I always do...but first, I was ravenous so I also got a chicken sandwich with onions! No, not cuz I wanted to make the dentist cry, it's my comfort food and I was hungry! Geeze!
So I inhale my food while I wait for My Love to get off work. I didn't relinquish the drivers seat when he came out. I can't recall what we were talking about as I drove off I just know my anxiety level was rising. So I was probably jabbering.
I made the turn to head to the dentist.
"Were are we going?" My Love asks.
"Remember I have a dentist appointment." my reply, hands had gone white knuckled on the steering wheel. I knew what he was going to say.
"Sooo...why aren't you taking me home first?"

The next few exchanges I shall spare you.
Needless to say I was furious, much better then scared/nervous.
I drove him home and said not a word.
Yes, me not talking.
He doesn't like waiting rooms, doctors offices, or hospitals. I believe my last words to him were something along the lines of "Whaaa."
I was able to run in and brush my teeth so I wouldn't be offensive to the poor individuals who had to work on me, so it wasn't a total loss.

Unfortunately, or maybe not, they were ready for me as soon as I walked in. I was ushered back into the little alcove with the funny chair that i was suddenly scared to sit in... she should me where I could hang my purse, I was nervous enough I forgot to get out my bell balls... I think they are called mediation balls or something... mine are named Harmony (shes blue) and Balance (he's green). Yes, I named them.
What?
So she made me sit in the scary chair...staring longingly at my purse, but too unnerved to ask to get them. I am not one of those people who can hide their emotions, they are usually written with psychedelic flames across my face. She started handle me like a kid.

My mouth is small. I think it's a family thing. Also my wisdom teeth never came all the way in on the bottom and didn't even try to on the top...umm do we have wisdom teeth on top?
She took the xrays and did it as fast as she could, she ran back and forth between the button and my mouth. i don't know why she did that...maybe i looked like I was going to bolt?
She had trouble with the first few, we had to use a smaller more flexible size.But they still cut the roof of my mouth.

Then she disappeared... to get get help. I had almost gathered my nerves back and was moving to get up...to get my balls, I think she thought I was making a run for it. Cuz before I could explain I just wanted my bell balls she had the chair leaned uncomfortably far back and raised up. Apparently just to make it harder to escape. Cuz the next thing she did was stick a metal thing in my mouth! She was poking me with the metal thing and calling out numbers to the helper..3..4...3...2...4...2...3...3....5...
Was she counting cavities! Oh my gosh! Was that how many cavities I have in each tooth!?!
Panic!
Fear!
Must calm, must calm...where are my bells!
Can't get them...
...4...3...3...4...
Ceiling blank, I bet they get tired of hearing they should have something on the ceiling.
I bet they painted the walls this color to be CALMING.
they should get their money back.
Holy cow! Look at my shoes!
I seriously need new ones. What is that?
Did I step on a ketchup packet?
great, can I hide my feet? Can the assistant see that?
Seriously, they are hammered.
But I really like them, they are tan suede high tops.
Nike airs, My Love insisted I get Nike airs if I have to work and be on my feet all day.
But i haven't found any like them.
Okay...enough with the terrifying numbers already!
A six! Are you kidding! I have 6 cavities in that tooth!
I like the orange on my shoes too.
Yey. I like their orange soles.
Maybe if I put in the orange shoe laces they wont be so bad...

OH THANK GOODNESS, they are done.

So That was my state of mind. I REALLY could have used a hand to hold or the bell balls at least.
I shall spare you the rest.


i good news: i only had 1 cavity! My first one in my whole like thank you.
the bad news: I need to get a scaling done.
I shall not go into what that is because it makes skin crawl.

My teeth are terribly discolored because of 16 years of missed cleanings...


The End, cuz I don't want to talk about it any more.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

CHOCOLATE


So today was less then wonderful
So I expect the week to follow suit.

I missed church because Monster was throwing up.
Got a note from the tv celebrities I sudo work for that I am not strict enough
Didn’t get to go for the planned ride in the mountains
The radio show I was on had recording problems so we may have to do a do over
There is a ‘spat’ between some of the charity board members is causing big problems
And the planned movie night is a no go.

And then to top it off when I went to get a simple chocolate chip cookie I find they are ALL GONE!
Not a piece of chocolate in the house!
(Trust me, I turned the place upside down)
That was the LAST straw!
I had had it!
I grabbed my purse
I was on a chocolate run.

“Do you have money?” My Love asked.
“If I don’t I’ll just knock the store over!” I snapped.
Suddenly the kids were scrambling to come with me
“I’ve got to see this!”
“I want to see mom knock a store over!”
“Remember the night we became werewolves?!”
“Yeah!”

Okay, this is probably not normal responds from kids is it?
They thought I would become some mutant cross between a werewolf and the incredible hulk and literally knock a store over to get to the chocolate and as there is a chocolate factory in town they were sure it would be a show worth seeing. Apparently I become a werewolf/incredible hulk hybrid when I am angry, you wouldn’t like me angry. Lovely to know how your kids see you isn’t it?

Oddly enough, no one was disappointed when we walked into the gas station and used mere money to get my chocolate… cuz there was one SOUR worm in the bag of gummy worms we bought My Love.
Somehow I don’t know how to feel about being as exiting as a lone sour gummy worm in a bag of regular gummy worms.







Funny kids:

I said “Time to put my goddess hat on!” as I went to get the phone for the radio show.
“I’ll get it!” Monster yells as she scampers off…
“Wait! It’s not a actual hat!”

She returned with a garland of ivy and a staff... the Staff of Was... I have no idea what that means.



Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Completely unproductive and Rambling School Buss Rant


Right now I am seriously annoyed! Mad even!

You see the bus decided it needs to pick the kids up earlier.
It was picking them up at 7:04 last year, this year it was coming at 6:50 (even though they told me no time change). Yesterday, My Love was talking to a friend whose child rides the same bus and they mentioned that the buss was going to be coming earlier because another child has been added to the route. Yeah, no one from the bus company told us, another parent did. Wonder if the phone is broken at the bus barn?

So, I just had gotten back from taking My Love to work and was getting the kids moving a bit faster on packing lunch...brush your hair...don't wait till the last minute to put on your shoes...hot chocolate isn't ready yet... breakfast... HOLLY COW!!! THE BUSS IS HERE!
The bus was impatiently waiting with flashing lights for us to tumble and scurry out the door. In a tangled mob the kids grabbed backpacks and lunches, bowls of cereal were left anywhere between the kitchen and front porch as they frantically tried to shovel in a few last bites... the buss shut it's doors and acted like it would pull away as the mob descended the stairs in a trampling horde that scattered cats and ducks and set the neighbors dog barking. They opened the doors and the kids files up the stairs and to their seats. Absent was our next door neighbor, but I heard the mom yelling in the house...the bus pulled away, the kids waving as usual.

I came back into the decimation that had been left behind an looked at the clock it was 6:31!!!
6:31 AM!!!
Are you kidding me?
a buss picks up this early?
I could understand if maybe we lived miles and miles out of town like some of the ranch and mountain kids do, but come on! We are 3 blocks out side of city limits!

Want to know what time the bell rings for class to START?
8:00am for Elementary and 8:20 for everyone else.

That puts the older kids on the buss for almost 2 hours!

So I ask "WHAT?!?!" and they say "we have one bus to meet the needs of our special students, so everyone will just have to work with us. If it doesn't work for you you can drive them..."

again "WHAT?!?!?"

They complained all last year about how the kids that are the last ones off are so terrible...loud, wiggle in their seats... and I told them well duh! They have to be on there for so long any kid would get fidgety! Oh and these are ALL Special Needs kids. There are deaf kids, wheel chair bound kids, emotionally disturbed kids, autistic kids, all kinds! and their siblings. So here you have kids who are often more sensitive to prolonged expose to sound and vibrations being crammed onto a buss at dawn and then not getting home till dinner is on the table and they wonder why it's such a difficult route!
Lets make the Special Needs Buss the longest route in the school system!

Oh, I hold out NO HOPE what so ever that this will improve, I am only impotently venting as we had a run in with this Buss company last year over the verbally abusive and scary obsessive buss driver they had on the 'normal route' with Eldest.
He had announced to the buss he was a recovered meth user and it was only through finding Jesus that he was saved and they all needed to find Jesus or burn in hell. He told me I should beat her with a stick and she was a bad kid and so on... yelled to me from the buss door. He started dropping her off early, not at her stop, saying if she didn't get off the buss she would get a green slip (2=suspension 3=never ride again)... It was a nightmare. We told the buss company about it and they backed him saying it never happened and the camera on his buss was broken so we couldn't prove anything... so we switched her to ride with the other 2 on the Special Needs Buss.
Over the summer he started showing up at my work and anytime Eldest was volunteering at a charity event he would appear. We talked to some officers about it and magically he faded away, then we find out his contract wasn't picked up for the new year. It only took a whole school year and law enforcement to get any result on that one, so as I said I see no hope of changing this next stupid buss stunt.
I guess I will do like they suggested so sweetly and see if I can rearrange my schedule to take the kids to school... and the school wonders why kids are being dropped off at 7:00.


P.S.
We all KNOW I am so not a morning person. I hate getting up before the sun, or the butt crack of dawn as i call it, to take my Love to work and then coming home getting the kids off to school, then take care of the animal, then take a shower and get dressed and go to work myself... and try to fit in a load of laundry, unthaw meat for dinner, wash some dishes, pick up the house... so this is NOT the time of day throw stupid at me!
I guess it doesn't help that I am exhausted, have 2 district managers in at work, and I'm going to the dentist for the first time since I was 18 this afternoon. No, all that has no barring on how stupid it is to pick up kids at 6 freaking 30 in the morning!