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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving: the play by play report

Here we are at the most edible holiday: Thanksgiving!
this year will be a brand new adventure...and not by planning.
I woke up this morning to a bad fibro day. No big I'll do what I always do and just keep going. Silly silly in denial woman... that's me.
Instead of pain, I can do pain, pain was yesterday, it is weakness. I don't do weakness well
I went to pick up the turkey and couldn't.
Just couldn't.
It's a really odd sensation, and very frustrating, to be telling your body to do something and it telling you it is but somehow it's just not happening. *sigh* the turkey stayed where it was.
No problem, I thought, I just need breakfast.
After breakfast I tried to open the bag of stuffing... yeah tried. When did they start using titanium in packaging!?
Great. I had to face it, I'm not cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year. :(

My Love and I were talking and I don't recall what he said (sorry memory seems to be affected today as well) but what ever it was inspired me to ask if any one wanted to learn to cook a turkey. Eldest jumped, literally jumped, off the couch! She really wanted to learn how! My Love had spent the last week telling everyone he met how I make the best roast turkeys! Never had a dry one (glad he doesn't remember that on time) always so flavorful... So Eldest wanted to learn how I did it.
So now I had a set of hands and we started to cook. It felt awful strange to just direct, I'm a hands on person, but it was also very amusing!

First things first, we have a nice big real roasting pan, I love having a real roasting pan and not just one of those flimsy tinfoil jobs! It's so deep and sturdy! Did I mention I love it? It was one of the many useful things Sandy left me when she passed away this summer.
I just started pulling things out... but Eldest had other ideas. She was going to do this right! Which means cooking show :)
She amazed me by clearing off the stove and washing it first so we had plenty of space. Yeah my jaw hit the floor! This is the Inconsiderate Chief cleaning the kitchen BEFORE she starts! COOL!

We put some sliced onions and whole baby carrots in the bottom of the roasting pan... the baby carrots got Monsters attention and now we had another pair of hands. I directed her on some things to get like butter and a potatoe, while Eldest chopped some carrots and onions fine. Eldest commented on how considerate onions are, they grow already cut in one direction so you are saved a step! Aren't they thoughtful?
Monster got the stuffing in the microwave then went out to pick some wild sage.
Eldest added the fine chopped veggies to the stuffing (just realised we forgot the mushrooms darn it) and Monster stirred. When I told her not to stir it too much or it would smoosh the stuffing she said "I know" and pulled her fork out...looks like I was too late.
Eldest set about making the secret rub... it's not really a secret and every year I change it. She took 1/4 cup butter (real stuff thank you) some spices, salt and pepper and mixed it all together till it was spreadable. I don't know why but she used her hands to mix it. Very Tactile.
Every thing was set. We moved on to the Turkey. I thought it must have been huge since I couldn't pick it up, I feel silly now, it is only 15 lbs. She cut open the netting and then the bag. The instructions went something like this...
me- "Okay, now pour out the blood and throw the wrapper away."
"Blood?!" Thunderous and Monster come running in to see the gore.
Calmly and efficiently Eldest follows all the instructions.
Blood down the drain, wrappings in trash.
me-"Now rinse with cool water. Good. Now get under it's wings and rise the armpit well"
amid giggles the instructions are followed.
Monster- "Is that it's butt?"
Eldest- "No that where the neck was"
Monster- "Where's the neck now"
me- "In the other side."
Monster- "They cut off his head and stuck it in his butt?"
me- "Yes."
Monster stares at the bird.

me- "okay, now move all the skin and reach in the neck cavity. There should be a package of gizzards."
Monster-" What's a gizzard?"
Eldest- "The guts."
Monster- "it's guts are in it's neck?! Can I see!"
Thunderous hasn't said much and is standing across the kitchen, the guts are too much he leaves yelling over his shoulder, "The girls are tom boys, they like guts!"
reply, "So does that make you a girly girl?"
He goes to watch football, that's what manly men do.
Eldest set aside the gizzard package rinses out the area. She turns over the turkey.
Monster- "Is that it's butt?"
Eldest- "Duh."
me- "Okay, un hook the legs from the plastic thing and move the skin."
Monster- "Weird....WHAT is THAT?"
me- "it's the tail"
Monster- "WE EAT THE TAIL!?"
Eldest is holding the tail...looking between me and the hunk in her hand.
me- "no, we give it to the cats. But we need it to cover the stuffing."
both- "Ohh."
It's set by the gizzards.
Monster makes "iccky' nosies while Eldest tries to find the neck and then pulls it out. Thunderous snuck back in to see the neck. "That's the neck?"
me- "it's bent in half."
Thunderous- "Why? that's just wrong"
Eldest rises the inside of the turkey. then she moves it to the roasting pan. With gleeful abandon Monster and Eldest put the stuffing in the bird. Monster used a big spoon, Eldest her hands. I had to keep reminding them the stuffing goes IN the bird.
Now the fun part!
WE had made a paste with the herbs and butter. I showed them my trick. I pulled the skin up and showed them how to spreperate the skin from the meat. Eldest dived in with wild abandon! no squeamishness at all! Monster was shocked, but wanted to try too!
After she had loosened all the skin, and Monster had a try as well. Next she grabbed a handful of the butter and gleefully spread it under the skin. She laughed at Monster who spent the whole time crying, "This feels soo wrong! This is just wrong!" Eldest loved it!
Finally the turkey is put in the oven!
unfortunately I have to rest, yeah standing there telling them what to do was exhausting.
I'll up date you as the day goes on...we still have pie, side dishes, beans and mushroom caps!


It's beblem in the kitchen now!
My Love stated making his beans and everyone started on their side dish at the same time!

Turky being basted by Eldest "The gravy will be great! Look at thoses Turkey droppings!"
"umm it's drippings not droppings."

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Gentleman's Sport?

In our house it's more like a full contact sport!
What am I talking about?

Chess, the sport of Kings.

This morning (and last night) has been spent playing full contact chess.
You should here the crowd!
No silent observers and polite applause here, were talking full out victory dances and high fives when someone makes a good move. There loads of Emeril style "BAM!" and Queen's "We will rock you". We have cheer leaders and rabid fans! Oh and backseat drives and arm chair quarterbacks.

It must be because these are big football fans. I get the fun job of referee. When they are arguing over if it's check or if a move is legal MOM gets called in... I just need the striped shirt and whistle..."After farther review the call on the field stands. (crowd groans and cheers) The Knight was able to take the Bishop." and seriously I do need the whistle, you have no idea how loud it gets.

Some games are fast and furious pieces flying off the board, no time for smack talk, all action till in a blur someone is reeling from check just as their own plan fell into place...and other games are slow methodical move matched by move careful consideration, jeers and plays called from the onlookers.

The best part is when you catch Thunderous One cheating. He is always changing the rules. Just now he had to explain how both of his bishops where on the same color, several moves were back tracked. That's okay because My Love was sure he had someone in check because he was playing a pawn as a bishop... that's the fun of the fast and furious game.

I am really impressed by Monsters skill in chess. She matches your style unconsciously. The last 2 games I played with her she was one move from checkmating me, but I was able to cunningly get her king first! MaWAHAhahaha! Hey, I'm new at this, I'm not ashamed a 8 year old can kick my but on the board.

Just now Eldest (who is the newest player) suddenly said with dawning realization, "Oh! your trying to lure me in!" My Love is playing each of the kids this morning. He decimated Thunderous and stumbled before getting Monster in Check Mate.

We have been playing alot of Chess and other games since we don't have TV. It's been really fun! The kids play out side and do things that take imagination. Thunderous and Monster have joined the Chess team at their school to our surprise! I'm thinking we may need a studier chess set though! This full contact game is hard on pieces!

My Little Brother (I think) sent Thunderous a chess set and so we looked on the Internet and learned the basic moves. We haven't gone on to the special moves or serious play. I couldn't tell you what a Sicilian Opening is or if the move called the Great Wall of China that the kids showed me is even real... but so far we are having fun!

ummm... maybe I should rethink that...
I just got challenged by My Love... he's about to extract revenge for all the games I beat him at (which is every single one we play)

wish me luck!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Ninja Injun Pony Gets A Job

As I said in my last post I have been looking for paid work. So now I am jealous, of a horse.

Earlier this week I had a lady I have been talking to about The Ninja Pony stop by. She runs the local hypotherapy and has expanded into horse rescue as well. We have known her for about 6 years, maybe longer, as I started taking the kids out for therapy years ago! They put up with all our 'issues' so we got to know the staff rather well in those years.

Awhile back we decided that we needed to relocate Ninja Pony. We were facing a very uncertain future and didn't know if we would still have a place to keep him. Amazingly enough not every rental allows horses, shocking I know. After careful consideration and review, we decided it would be in his best interest if we found him a new situation. He is a 20 year old golden palomino, he's also 17 hands high (in horse language that means big, really big). Being so old we had to be careful that he was put in the right kind of home. We know he has years of life and activity left, but there are those who would want to sell him to a slaughter house to make a buck. So I called our old friend and asked if she either had an opening for a therapy horse or could suggest something. After a month of talking, checking leads, and visits she came by this week to let me know she had a place for him.
She has a woman who recently moved here (from her that means within the last 5 years) and had just been certified to become one of her horse rehabilitation/ foster homes. But they needed to train her and she wanted a horse permanently at that location. So our big brute gets a dream job! He will be leaving before Thanksgiving to start his new work. He will get full dental and veterinary coverage. He will also get acupuncture and massage therapy! Not to mention room and board. The first part will be her learning how to rehabilitate horse by learning on him, they will be treating his arthritis. Then he will be the permanent horse. All new horses will look to him for direction on whether this person can be trusted, where the water is and when the food comes. It is really important that he trust the lady so the other horses will learn it's okay to trust humans again. He is very big but also very gentle, so they feel he is perfect for this. The lady met him and loves him and wants to spoil him like mad! We had to tell her he doesn't like carrots, but will go thru a fence for sweetcorn or pears!
We feel very bitter sweet about this. We will miss him, he is very much a part of the family as can be seen in our art! He is in the stories we have written, the pictures taken and drawn, in comic book sketches, internet posts... and he is Thunderous One's Best Friend.
When we told them all his reaction was the one we most worried about. He was sad, very sad. But he said, "I think this is for the best. He'll have a good job he will like and no bad neighbors to harass him."
That about sums it up... a good life and no harassment. I am jealous though... I want massage therapy as my job benefit!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

¿Hacen usted tienen gusto de dolor?

Apparently the answer is: Si.

I learned that phrase when I learned how to do a felony traffic stop in Spanish. What does it mean you ask?
¿Hacen usted tienen gusto de dolor? = Do you like pain?
Please don't ask why I need to know that phrase for a felony traffic stop. It was Texas, does that help?

This morning I was reading a new book called The Bipolar Child (see my book list) and was finding some interesting information out about BP kids and separation anxiety and a few other things. It explained how they usually have a strong attachment to one parent, generally the mother. I was finding the information useful and reassuring, night lights are not uncommon in bipolar teens. You'd need one too if you experienced the nightmares that they do. They dream more vividly and gorily then most people. I wasn't really too concerned about the night light use, I think considering the recent weeks happenings that it is normal.
I was really comforted by one quote that I found from a mother of a bipolar child, "They can not believe that this sweet, charming, affectionate, and out going child could possibly be violent or bipolar. They just assume we are not firm enough with him, or pay too much attention to him."
I can relate to that statement fully. When Thunderous was diagnosed as Autistic no one said "Are you sure? All kids are like that." Yet that is exactly what they said when we shared Eldest's diagnosis. That is rather an isolating responds. You don't want to tell friends and family that you have a child with a mental disorder because of the reactions of disbelief and insinuations, or right out accusations, about your parenting abilities or own mental heath. I think that is one reason the stigma stays.
Another thing it talked about was how most of the manic and violent behavior takes place at home. That follows exactly with what Eldest has said, she uses all her control to hold it together in public but then losses it at home. I haven't gotten to the why part yet, so I asked eldest. She just looked and me and said, "Because it's public." When I asked for more she got annoyed, "It's public, you know, other people... out in public..." That was pure teenager lol! I'm wondering if it has to do with feeling secure at home. I'm sure I'll find out.
It also spoke some about how the separation anxiety or bond with one parent can have the added side effect of that parent being the one who the violence and anger of a manic cycle will be focused at. That reminded me of the conversation My Love and I where having yesterday about Eldest and school. He observed that Eldest and I have a strange relationship. She is rude to me, will yell at me, talks back to me... not him. Yet wants to always be by my side. If I go to the store, can she come? If I'm reading on the couch she'll sit next to me. Every morning she asks me to walk her to the bus stop... Seems to be I get the pleasure and punishment.
¿Hacen usted tienen gusto de dolor?

My Love called this morning. The Principal from Thunderous One's school called and talked to him. Thunderous is having some trouble. So I got the pleasure of calling the school to talk to the Support teacher. Seems she and I both saw the same thing in his behavior. So we talked a bit about it.
That brings me to another comment that My Love had made. He was saying it never ends, when we get one child to a better place, needs met, growth exhibited... something else happens, whether with another child or some other aspect of our life. We'll rest when we die, cuz I have loads of plans for after they all move out :)

More changes will be taking place around here and in our lifestyle. You see I am trying to get back in the work force, we finally found the Ninja Injun Pony a good home, and the prospect of homeschooling is looming. I am looking for part time work so I can still be here when the kids go to school and when they get home from school. It seems to be getting more and more unrealistic though. Being a good parent is a hard enough job and here we are trying to be a good parent to special kids, get an education, and an income. I don't know where to start or if I can make that commitment. Every time I take a step in the employment direction something in the family direction needs attention. I am sure I will find the right balance...maybe a work from home job...It will just take some experimenting.

So yes apparently I do like pain, I seem to take quite a bit on.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Horses, Cranes, Big Horn Sheep OH MY!

Once again I can only say I am tired.
This time the disruption started at 4 am., perhaps earlier.
Brutus has been in the back yard since his full moon walk about the other night. He is a very smart horse. I fully expect to come home and find that he has undone the combination lock on the shed and has let him self into the feed. Hasn't happened yet, but I figure any day now.
Well last night...this morning. He was standing under our window neighing and carrying on till we came to the window. He was upset but... I don't know. The horse across the street was upset, he was also neighing and screaming and thumping. The gate was closed but askew, I think he had been pushing on it. We couldn't figure out what was wrong. We check Whistler thinking maybe something had come out of the canyon again and perhaps gotten her. No. she was okay. My Love got some apples for him thinking he was hungry or something, nope not the problem. In fact he only eat one apple, he loves apples so that's not normal. Finally we went back to bed.
Never really got back to sleep though. He kept making noise. He was bumping some logs from the firewood around. He stayed right under the window the rest of the night. He kept staring up the street to the east.
Eldest had Saturday school and My Love didn't shut off the alarm clock so the alarm went off at 4:30 then 5:30. Eldest got up at 6 and wanted to go to school. Just before 7 we heard a car honk so I looked out the window again. There were 2 horses standing in the road!
Brutus was standing at the fence just looking at them. The cars weren't slowing down just honking and swerving!
So I thru on some clothes, the kids all did too. and we went out to save them. We took Brutus's lead. I got luck and the lead mare come up to me and let me clip the lead on. We thought they were the neighbors horses across the street. So I turned the mare to their drive and sent Monster to knock on there door and tell them we had their horses. Eldest took ahold of the halter on the buckskin, but he was already following the mare so it was more of a precaution.

Our neighbors were very confused to be woken up so early...they weren't their horses, they had sold all but one a few weeks ago. Great, so now what do we do? We had never seen these horse before! So we took them home and put them in Brutus field. I called the sheriff to see if anyone had reported a lost horse, no one had, then gave our information. Got everyone some water and made sure they couldn't get out easily or Brutus in (we really didn't need a horse fight) realized we were running late so flew to the car and off to school. 1/2 a mile away realized Eldest didn't have her glasses so we had to turn around...
then head back to town. I made sure she was set at school then came home. On the drive home I peered at every yard and pasture that had ever had horses or look like it might be able to to see if I could see any broken fence or open gates. Not one.

I half expected them to be gone by the time I got home, they were still there. The other kids spent some of the morning outside picking up the back yard and playing with all the horses. I was out there after hauling more water for Brutus and I heard a flock of birds calling each other. It was a flock of cranes, I like their call, loons have an even cooler one!
I watch them as they flew over calling... then something odd happened. The flock seemed to fall apart. They started circling and circling. I watched them for a good long time then knocked on the window for My Love. I showed him the cranes and we watched them...they were still circling honking in a distressed way. We wondered if they were looking for a field to rest in, we have ponds and a river near, perhaps they were going to land there... but they kept honking and circling! I commented that is was strange behavior, maybe a natural disaster was on it's way. Yeah I'm cheerful like that. A few minutes later they suddenly fell into their flight formation, stopped the distress honking, and headed off to the southeast... Well first due east, My Love said, "They are going the wrong way!" they seemed to have heard and adjusted and headed southeast. They were still heading southeast as they disappeared over the mesa.

We all loaded up to get Eldest, except Thunderous One, he was in trouble so had to stay home, anyway he was to tell anyone trying to take the horses to wait till we got home. My Love and I noticed a home that had sold last year (and didn't have it's light on for Halloween) had two big trailers of hay in the yard, the people (we didn't recognise) were in front of their backyard gates. My Love commented that that could be the house the strays were from. We looked at all the fields on the way into town talking about the horses the have been there, the new house someone had set, the snow on the Mountains... usual stuff.
We got to the school and a billion cars were lined up to pick up their kids. But we are gooood. We pulled over near the entrance, I stood up on the doorstop of the car and waved. Eldest saw me and walked over. See? We are good. :)
WE got out of there before the car that had entered before us had even gotten up to the school. Security was present too. Odd to see, but long over due, sadly.

We headed home a different way, I wanted to see an address I found while looking for a job. We were driving by the Elk ranch (which doesn't currently have any elk) and saw a cluster of cars at the last field. As we drove by we looked and saw there was a big horn sheep laying in the field! The farmer next to the ranch was out there as well.
When we got home we found out the horses were gone. I decided to go on an adventure. I loaded the kids up, yes even the Thunderous One, grabbed the digital camera and went on a 2 fold mission. Mission one, find the house with the horses came from and let them know what we had done as far as food and water and why we had them. Mission two was to go look at the big horn sheep.
So we set off down the road. You've probably already guessed where we found them... at the house with all the hay in the yard. I parked on the street and we all walked down the long drive to the house. I didn't drive it because it had fresh gravel laid and I didn't know if it was ready to be driven on, I was being polite. The horses saw the kids and neighed, that set the neighbors horse off he was running up and down his fence (2 houses away) neighing. We knock on the door and a lady who had obviously just gotten out of the shower answered. She had just moved here from Gunnision, she'd been living between the two places since February. I told her about the horses and she thanked us greatly. She was on her way to work so we didn't visit long. She had a cat that look just like Thunderous's therapy cat from years ago... it walked right up, ignoring the girls in it's intent goal, to him rubbed his legs then rolled over in front of him just begging for it's attention. He about cried, it reminded him of his beloved Jango so much. I felt terrible when she asked if we would like to have it and I had to say no.
We left and went to go see the sheep. There was a crowd of people at the fence, more then before. I parked on the far side of the road instead of trying to do a u-turn there. We went across the road and joined the crowd. Monster was very impressed! She exclaimed, "Wow, that's a big horn sheep!" her eyes wide, "I thought it would just be a sheep with big horns!" We each got to take pictures with the digital camera. It mostly laid in the field just beyond the fence chewing while watching us with little interest. It showed a great deal of interest when a guy in camp showed up. He and another hunter talked about how they like to 'bag a trophy like that!' They even called other hunters and told them about it. When the dude in hunters camo showed up the big horned sheep stood up and watched him intently. (See Dad! I told you animals aren't scared of cameras, but can spot a hunter from far! LOL!) He finally decide the hunter didn't have his gun and laid back down and relaxed. The farmer was explaining to some ladies that had wanted to walk on his property that the DOW had been there.... There had been reports of the Big horn walking on the highway last night. Their best guess was that he had come from the Black Canyon, but how or why they didn't know. They were hoping that he would go back on his own and they wouldn't have to intervene. So they didn't want anyone spooking him. So no, they couldn't walk in his land to get a closer look. Eldest was getting more and more outraged as she listened to the hunters talk about bagging this Big Horn... wait til the crowd thinned and the farmer left and they were sure they could get it in no time... So we left. The battery had died on the camera anyway. On the way home we decided to get my better camera and go back.
So we did, we stopped at Homer's and told him about the Big Horn. Then went back. Only one person was there and they left when we got there. So we took our time and enjoyed it and took several pictures. Eldest was relieved to see that the hunters had left. She has no problem with hunter, but that would have been poaching! Which is not right.
We decide the gnats were too bad to stand any longer and we left again. When we got home I called a friend and told her about the Big Horn so they could see it too. She called about 2 hours later to thank me. They had seen it and a big crowd was there when they got there, still there when they left. She also said the DOW was there as well, "to keep an eye on things" :)

I keep expecting something to happen now, so many odd animal happenings in one day.
any odd animal happening in your area today?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

the day after...and fall out

I am tired.
I couldn't fall asleep last night.

Eldest had a doctors appointment yesterday, so she got to come home with My Love. I think that saved her some stress. You see the 6th graders started talking that there was a bomb at the high school, no one is sure how that started. So the teachers had to tell the kids what was going on... why all the gates were locked, all the outside doors locked, and a cop walking the halls. All they said to the kids was, 'There was a stabbing at the high school, but they don't have any relatives in this school so no one needs to worry.' Of course they all started worrying and rumors flew...
So we told her the facts that we knew at the time.

On the way to the doctors and until the doctor walked into the room she was asking questions...
mostly why the boy did it.
All her test came back normal, golly haven't we heard that before? But the EKG was still being gone over by specialists so she will contact us for the results as soon as she gets them.
She had a mole removed and did really good with the shot to numb it. She is getting so much better about that! I did say she didn't have to do the dishes and that helped :)
Of course, I was expecting more then just a snip and a bandage, but that's all it took, it barley even bled! I think I was conned, grrrr. LOL!

Almost as soon as we got in the car, we had to go to the feed store and post office before home, she started asking again. Then she said,"Was he bi polar?"
She is worried that she is a monster, a devil, those are the words she used.
So I talked to her frankly about what she needs to do and what bi polar means. We talked about what she can do... eat right, take her vitamins and pills, the day planner...
I told her if that boy was bipolar then he wasn't taking care of himself. I told her point blank that when you don't take care of yourself you can hurt yourself or someone else. She has obviously been thinking this so I wanted to be sure to confirm it in a non dramatic way.
We talked about how she feels and what will she needs a snack and quite time right after school cuz she is so worn out from all the mental effort of school. I liked her idea, so we talked about how much time she would get and writing it all down so she wont even need to think about it, she'll just do it.

Everyone was tired early last night, so the house was shut down by 8. Everyone: My Love, Thunderous One, and Monster all fell right to sleep.
Eldest had some problems falling asleep, she used to have a fish tank on her desk that she would use as a nightlight for the nights she was stressed, more pron to nightmares on those nights... but she said the light didn't work. She kept getting up and turning her light on.
I gave her a flash light and she finally settled in.
I lay in bed for a long time... at one point I remembered that I have a very beautiful night light right next to my bed. So I got up and took it to her room, she appeared to be asleep so I put it on her desk and plugged it in. My best friend sent me that night light one year for my birthday. It is a statue of a Grandfather and his grandchild sitting around a fire. The Grandfather is telling a story. There is a plate that the light illuminates that looks like the night sky with stars and constellations and animals on it. It is a very calming nightlight.
This morning she thanked me for letting her borrow it. I was happy, she had brought it up so I know it helped her.

She had been moving to a better side of the scale the last few days, so it has been a good time to talk to her and set many things up. I just hope we can keep it going. She is obviously disturbed by what happened at the high school, I don't know if she had fully recovered from her anxiety from the fire before this happened. She has even said what is bothering her the most is there seems to be no connection between the boy and the girl he attacked, it was random. She said it would still be wrong but make more sense if they had know each other. She doesn't like boys or men anyway and I am sure this isn't going to help.

The Ninja Injun Pony was gone this morning and his gate open, so we were all up by 5 to find him. Because of that adventure there wasn't really time to talk about what happened and for me to see how the other two where doing. My Love had asked when they got home from school if they had heard about anything happening at the high school, they hadn't so he didn't tell them right then. I think he wanted me to be the one to tel them.
The sun wasn't up when we did our first search. The sky was barley lighten after our second. So we went home and started getting ready for school. Thunderous one was anxious to get back out and look farther. So I let him and Eldest go for one more loop.
I was waiting with Monster for the bus when Thunderous and Eldest came walking back up the street with the horse. You should have seen how happy the horse and boy both were! We put him in the back yard and they were still filling me in on how they found him when the bus pulled up.
Today is picture day, they don't look too picture worthy. I was going to let Thunderous stay home to help look for his best friend, but since he was found I sent him to school. At least Monster had on a nice shirt. I don't have money to buy the pictures anyway, so I told them to find out about retakes.

Eldest an I had some nice Mother daughter time this morning after the two left on the bus. She made me a Gaia character and we walked to her bus stop together.
She didn't seem overly anxious or stressed.

Today is early release... I was thinking of making bread, but with R2 dead and me blowing up the mixer a few days ago I think I'll have to come up with some other treat... no bake cookies? Brownies?

Today will be a Domestic Day... got to earn that Domestic Goddess title somehow.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


My Love just called

I am am shaking so hard I can hardly type.

the highschool has been closed down and students sent home

a male walked into the school
and slit a girls throat

my littlest ones are in a school across the steet from there

I'll update as soon as I can.


How much you want to bet my comment doesn't get published in the paper's blog?
My neighbors girls were right there when it happened, one ran to help when she heard the girl gasping, she thought it was an asthma attack...

I can't tell you how mad I am about how the paper is handling this! I'll spew later, could just be the fear to anger shift.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Monster's Cookies

It is the monsters birthday tomorrow, which means today she gets to bring a snack to school for the class. This is the only time the snack is allowed to be cookies or cupcakes. So we made Owl Face Cookies! I know, I should have mixed up the dough while they were at school and then had her help put the faces on, but I wanted to cook with her. I didn't get to teach them how to make a pie crust, so I was teaching them Owl Face Cookies no matter what.
As usual it didn't go as planned, or rather envisioned.
Monster had forgotten her math homework last night, so was suppose to stay in at lunch recess to finish it... she couldn't hid the bragging in her voice as she explained to me how she was too fast and got out the door to recess before her teacher could 'remind' her to stay in. So she had to do it tonight alone with tonight's homework. So with a sad heart I told her she couldn't help with the cookies till it was done. I just walked away from the falling on the floor crying. Mom is mean that way. She got enough done that she got to help me measure the shorting and peanut butter and ask a billion questions.
  • " Why do we use crunchy peanut butter?"
  • "Because that what the recipe calls for, and it's my favorite."
  • "Why do you change the beaters?"
  • "Because the dough is too heavy for the beaters we use the bread ones now."
  • "Why are boys aliens?"
  • "Because they are from Mars."
  • "Are you supposed to add that?
  • "Yes."
  • "But oatmeal triggers my gag reflex."
  • "It wont when it's in cookies."
  • "We'll see."
We split the dough and added the coco powder to one half. Monster made the mistake of tasting the powder. I had to convince her first she wasn't going to die, and second I wasn't poisoning her class. Oh and try to keep a straight face while doing it. I had warned her when I let her measure out the coco powder to be careful and not taste the powder, that it wasn't good.
We rolled out the chocolate dough in to 8 inch square. She tried to find a ruler to be sure we had it perfect. She was too excited to find one. I was too amused to point out that she had walk pass it at least twice. We made due with out it. As well rolled the peanut dough inside the chocolate dough she excitedly commented on how it looked like sushi! We were making cookie sushi! She was a good helper. The dough had to chill for an hour and it was bedtime so I had to finish them alone.
I like making cookies at night. It quite, no distractions, few interruptions... except when My Love comes in 3 times to "See how it's going. Do you want me to test anything?" I will make them again because I really like making the faces, I want the kids to get to make the faces. I had accidentally grabbed a bag of jumbo chocolate chips, they were on sale and I had a coupon, Score!
They turned out to be the BEST eyes! So everyone go and change you Owl Face Cookie recipe to Jumbo Chocolate Chips! I added peanuts for the beak and put them in the oven. Unfortunately about half way through shaping the ears I started to hurt. By the time I had put the first batch in the oven I could hardly stand. So as soon as I put them in I had to sit down. While sitting and hurting I started to worry. I don't think the dough felt right, the taste was a little off, I didn't add salt, should there have been salt? So by the time I had the second batch baked, I was in a full blown anxiety attack and the pain was enough I could hardly crawl into bed. My Love tells me when the pain gets bad or the weakness hits I am allowed to stop. But if I do that, if I always give in to this disease, it will win, so I can't.
So I am paying for it today.
But this morning, after having really strange dreams last night, I let Monster taste test the cookies. She declared, "My class is going to love these!" That was enough for me. Of course she then ate it's eyes off and gave the rest of it to me. Eldest laughed, she only eats the eyes off of them too. She doesn't like them, not sweet enough. Darn healthy cookies!

Today I have declared Domestic Day and will be ignoring the winter protest and anything else this disease throws at me and get some neglected house work done.
My Love and I plan to watch a movie together tonight. Hold hands, snuggle, share popcorn.. icky romantic things like that. Yeah it will be in the living room and the kids will be there too, probably making gagging nosies when we kiss, but it's a date to me! :P

Friday, November 7, 2008

Yesterdays fun: 3 times the fun?


Today at Eldest's School they are having an assembly to honor the Veterans. All the War Veterans in the area are invite. I don't know what they do during the Assembly because though we were invited last year, because we have an active duty family member, I couldn't go. This year I'll find out because I have a spy! I am so glad My Love works there :)
Eldest has a touch of me in her, it rather came out over this Assembly. You see they want all the kids in the school to dress nice for it. They specifically asked the boys to wear dress slacks or suits and the girls to wear dresses or skirts. They gave a speech to the class about how dressing up would show that they honor the sacrifice the Veterans had made for them. But Eldest had other ideas and told her teacher... She was planing to wear the fatigues that my brother had sent her.
You see My little brother is in the Air Force and over the summer had sent all my kids a full set of his uniform. They adore them! Thunderous One wore his almost everyday when school started and every Monday since, because when he wears them they make him brave and he can handle anything. Monster loves to wear hers, but I don't let her wear the pants to school, only around the house, which she does often. Eldest has never made a big deal about them, just quietly worn them on occasion. Apparently they mean allot to her because shy little Eldest told off a teacher over them!

She announced in class that she was going to wear her Uncles Fatigues. The teacher told her she had to dress nice so she had to wear a skirt. That wearing a skirt would honor the men and women that visit the school and fatigues wouldn't. She got insulted and mad (did I mention she is a bit like me? :) ) I don't know what words she used but she told the teacher something to the effect of, "Are you saying that wearing the very same clothes my Uncle wore while he fought in Afghanistan for OUR freedom would NOT honor him? Are you saying that the sacrifice HE made for you to be teaching us in a free country can't be shown in wearing his uniform? How is wearing a skirt going to show how I honor my Uncle? I want to honor him by wearing his Uniform, the one he wore while he dodged bullets for US!"
Whatever she said moved the teacher and her class, but in the end "Unless it's his dress uniform you can't wear it." She has been mad at the Authority at the school since they told her she couldn't do her Superhero project. This was the last straw I think... oh joy, another family member who has issues with authority.
Well, this morning when she got dressed she put on jeans and a t-shirt. If they wouldn't let her honor the Veterans in her way they she wasn't going to do it their way either. Seriously, where does she get that from? :P
As I kept the other two moving I did what any MOM would do, I guilted her into it (and only yelled a little).
You see the other two heard about the Veterans' Day Assembly and they wanted to honor the Vets as well, so they each were wearing some of Uncle's camo. They gave her a few choice words about needing to honor the Vets. For my part I mentioned how these people fought for her, missed their families for her, suffered and sacrificed... the lest she could do was wear a skirt for them...(mom guilt, ain't it fun) and we came up with some compromises.
  1. She would wear a skirt and nice blouse, but only till the Assembly was over, then she was putting on jeans, she'd keep the nice blouse on.
  2. She was going to wear the shirt as a jacket over her outfit, at least to school.
  3. On Tuesday she was wearing his full uniform and if they had a problem she was going to sue them!
Oh, and no heels, I tried and lost... We do have a gravel drive way after all and the walk to the bus is all gravel as well; that'd be great, have her sprain an ankle on the way to the bus. So she on her tennies. Kinda brought down the NICE aspect, oh well.


Eldest is failing science. We have been trying to get her to take an active role in getting that grade up, you know by doing silly things like asking to borrow the notes so she can correct her notebook, or be moved closer to the board so she can see, or bring her homework home. Just silly things parents think of to make life hard on kids.
She has been having nightmares about this teacher and every time I ask about her notebook she either forgot it or he hasn't handed it back yet. My Love and I have been staying up late talking about her, expressing our concerns to each other and trying to come up with plans that will help. We have finally had enough. I wont go into my WHY PUBLIC SCHOOLS SUCKS tirade, or at least try not to... But we have had enough. So I put my foot down: to her, the school and My Love. (I wish I had my moms foot down power, when she had had enough and put her foot down mountains would get up move out of her way and apologize. I've seen it.)
Foot Down:
If she gets one more F she will be home schooled. If the Public School can't met her needs then she will be removed from it.
She is devastated! Apparently Thunderous One has told his sisters stories about the horror that is Mom the Teacher.

I called her science teacher and talked to him at lunch. I must say it is rather disconcerting how surprised teachers are when you take an interest in your child's education and don't just smile and nod. After the conversation he will be getting the the notes she needs and will be sending home the work that is required for Saturday school, which she will be attending due to her F.
He was so confused that I wanted her to bring it home to work on were I could see her doing it, so I could see what she was doing, how she was doing, and be there to help. I also put in a call to her resource teacher and asked for a meeting. We need to have a plan in place that will help her to function and get her school work done and learn even when she is having a hard time with her bipolar (sorry don't know all the terms yet. for Autism I'd call it a manic cycle or just manic, I think manic is different in Bipolar, but maybe not...still learning) She hasn't called back yet, perhaps the science teacher warned her? They may work with My Love but they have to deal with Me.


One of the things that I am hoping will help is her glasses. Yes we finally got them! I had to decide not to pay the gas bill to afford them, but to me it is worth it.
My Love picked them up on the way home from work yesterday. She has rectangle frames and rhinestone accents on the part that goes to the ear. She wanted them to be as different from Monsters as possible it seems. Monsters are round and metal.
I remember spending about an hour looking for frames till she found one that mostly fit what she wanted. She knew exactly what she wanted but they did not have them. She wanted cheetah pattern with square frames and diamonds on the side. I told her to keep looking for those and when she finds them we will get them. But for now she will wear the ones that were closest.
When he picked them up they just handed him the glasses. He was confused and asked for a case. They lady said that medicaid doesn't cover a case but they would be happy to sell us one. I think I would have screamed discrimination or something (especially cuz yesterday wasn't that great of a day). He took the plastic bag she offered for free and we wont be going there again.

I love when someone gets glasses. I mean they get to see everything for the first time! Monsters eyes are like her dad's she has to wear hers all the time. I recall the first time she watched tv after getting hers, she was fascinated! It was so much more detailed, so intense! Eldest needs hers only to see far away, she'll need to take them off for close up things like reading and dishes.
When she got the glasses she quietly went outside. We kinda looked at each other wondering what she was doing, was she going out to feed Brutus?
She came back in with a look of awe on her face. "The mountains are so beautiful!" she breathed in wonder. That about made me cry! To think how much I love the mountains and all this time my child couldn't see them clearly!
She's been doing that all day now. She'll look at something and take her glasses off, look, then put them back on, look, then smile. When we walked to the school buss this morning she could clearly see the boy (she has a crush on) walking down the mesa to his bus stop up the street. She saw the individual leaves on the trees rather then just a blur of color. We had a blast just breathing out and watching the detail of our breath in the cold air.
All this time, she has been missing the details. Being an artist I expect her to create something now. I wonder what it will be?
Our real hope is that all her school work will improve with her glasses helping her. My Love called this morning and said she looks very "Abstract" The glasses make her look different, she is in a skirt, and had on the camo jacket... he almost didn't recognise her. She had joked at the bus stop that people might think a new kid had started school today.
We are kinda hoping so :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

s ca tt e r e d

I'm really scattered today! I keep forgetting things, like what I'm doing...or what I had planned to write today. It's starting to get on my nerves. grrrrr!

Can't find an actually song that captures my mood or state of mind today... ahhh.. just had an idea!

Yup. That about sums it up :)

Since I can't recall what I was going to say I'll just ramble, I have a talent for that.
Today Eldest is getting a retest on her EEG and EKG. She couldn't stop moving, whispering, whistling, tapping her toes... during the test last week. The lady didn't really have a great bed side manner to begin with, very serious person. The lady in the blood lab was great, she was nice and when Eldest said she was shaky got her a juice and cookie. Eldest hates needles in her arms, loves to watch others get their blood taken, just don't come near her. The lady was patient and Eldest did great! I didn't have to hold her hand and talk her through it like I had the day before at the doctors while she got a flu shot. She remembered to breathe and got alot of stickers for doing such a good job!
Now today I hope she will just stay calm and pretend to take a nap. I wont be staying into the room with her this time, I don't want to be a distraction (and I can use the time to read or work on my NaMoWriMo!). I stayed with her last time because she was so nervous.
I also think now that she has an EMF sensitivity! She made a comment that made me think of it. So I talked to My Love and he has seen the symptoms as well. So we will be sure to move any clocks away from her bed to help her sleep well... dang it! I just realized this computer is on the other side of the wall from her bed! I don't know if it is getting through the wall... I really need an EMF detector!
One of these days when we finally get to buy our own house I will probably make some poor home owner go crazy as I walk through their house looking for unshielded wires and breaker boxes with my handy EMF detector. Yeah they might find ghosts as well, but I need one for practical purposes! Like to take to Wal-mart and measure the area around the cash registers to prove or dispel my theory that Wal-Mart Checkouts are a Fear cage!
and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you just haven't talked to me enough :P

This weekend is the Monsters Birthday! I will be making Owl Cookies for her to take to school as the treat on Friday. My Love for some reason is really excited about me making Owl Cookies. Maybe cuz it's something I do every year, infact though I LOVE Owl Cookies I wont make them except for in the fall. I want to keep them speacial. That's why my kids don't think the Thanksgiving turkey is so spectacular, I make turkey all year long. I haven't this year and everyone is asking for one, so this Thanksgiving aught to be special :)

Halloween was fun! The weather was nice! I thought that was against the law or something. We had Thunderous' best friend with us he stayed the night. He hates when his parents drink so he comes to our house anytime they are planing a party. We don't mind. He was shocked how far we have to walk for such a small amount of candy! Most people take their kids into town and go to a 'rich' neighborhood. I'm old fashion, we make our own costumes and trick or treat in our neighborhood. I was thinking I may take them into town next year, just so they can get a year of the pillow case being full before they are 'too old' to trick or treat. I don't think there is suck a thing and all the neighbors around here know them so I doubt any would think it odd that they still trick or treat... I don't know.
We didn't get any trick or treaters at our house this year. Not one. Always makes me sad.
I must have been having anxiety or something because I keep waking up that night thinking someone was TPing the house. No one did :)
Eldest was a 'Biker Chick' she wore my old jacket and boots. I guess I'm a little put out that she wore an outfit I wore not to long ago and called it a costume!

Got to get ready for the appointments and store run!
Walk in Beauty!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

song for today...