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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Found! ... well kinda...

So, last I posted Thunderous One was very worried about his missing friend.
Well, we found him!

I found out unpleasant things about the family in my research.
But his friend was 'found'!

What that means is he is with out of state family...

I don't really feel like dragging the family's issues out in public, so I'll just leave it at that for any who were worried too.

and Thunderous One is relived that every night mare he has heard of on tv, stories, and movies did not happen to a friend.

Thursday, December 8, 2011 what?

We have a brand new experience ... another one I had not thought about how to deal with till it happens.
Thunderous One has a friend who has been missing since before Thanksgiving. Seeing your friend on posters around town is odd. Being Autistic and seeing your friend on posters around town because he is missing is ..... I don't know.
Last night during dinner it got brought up.
It seems He really hadn't thought his friend was missing, that maybe just the school didn't know where he was... but when I explained the poster was also at the gas station and grocery store, not just the school... and I had talked to his grandma (who is a Health Tech at Monster's school, small town)
It suddenly hit him... his friend was missing. he started to tell us everything that he knew about his friend.
I feel kinda odd... maybe bad? Because as he talked I wanted to make a file... I wanted to compile information. Like I was some kind of detective.
But I'm not, I am just someone who likes to research, that's what I keep telling myself.
Then he asked me, "Mom, will you look for him? You can find everything... maybe there are some answers."

Okay I thought I can look and see what the newspaper has about it...
They have nothing... not one article.

I check the Missing Children's web page... they do not have him reported there either...

To me that makes no sense.

So now I am stuck... Has it not been on the news ... so now I have these questions in my head based off of what I did and did not find.
And I am trying to decide what I will do.

*thinking, thinking*

What would you do?

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


Do you ever feel like... "Okay that's it, I am done!" or "No MORE! I Surrender!" That is how I feel. What I find most perplexing is that it really doesn't seem that more then usually is happening... but I ended up crying in the school nurses office this morning. So I know... I am done. What I find most annoying is this... I could handle ALL of this at any other time.

Yesterday afternoon, Monster was complaining that her leg hurt. Now, as it was her night to do dishes, I was not exactly surprised. But, she seemed to be actually hurting. I don't mean dragging her leg across the room, or flopping down and moaning... She would interrupt her sentence about something she was talking about to hiss and grab her leg. Not ready to fully buy it I suggested a hot bath, because really, What thing that ails a woman is not improved by a hot bath?! She called me in during her bath to have me look at her toe, cuz 'it looks weird.' And yeah, It looked weird. It was swollen and angry looking and kinda icky. I told her I would look at it more when she got out of the bath, it looked like an ingrown toenail.
Not a big deal right?
It shouldn't have been...


When she got out and I got a look at it, it was white where it was swollen, red where it wasn't swollen and it was oozing a green stinky puss.
She had cut her nails so short I couldn't get anything under the edge of the nail to try and get it out. It also hurt for her when I touched it. It felt a little hot, but it was hard to tell since she had had a hot bath. Did I mention the green oozing puss? It stunk... she had just gotten out of the bath and it STUNK. So, now I am stuck. She has what really appears to be an infection growing in her foot and is complaining about pain in her thigh. After some consideration (like the fact that we have no family doctor {a story in itself} or walk-in clinic in town) I decided to follow my first impulse and take her to the ER.
Yes, I know, what a waste of resources! Waste of money... that's not what ER's are for... all that kept gong thru my head just to remind me that I have no ability to cope at the moment.
It wasn't too bad. We walked in, they saw her right away as no one else needed help on a Tuesday night at 7:45pm.
She as always astonished the staff with how cool and calm and hard core tough she is.

The smelly green puss is a bad thing, in case you wondered. She had a nice infection setting itself up in her toe. They had to numb the toe and the doctor was worried about how a small little girl would react to it... so she called in help 'just in case'.
Imagine the doctors surprise when Monster really did not care that needles where being stuck in her toe. She had a completely indifferent calm attitude of "You do what you have to do, cuz that's your job. I'm just gonna sit here and watch TV." She didn't even move, she breathed when it stung and her eyes may have gotten a bite red, but she did not cry. The nurse and doctor where both amazed. I must be jaded, I would have been surprised if she did react. If it had been her brother there would have been big interns trying to hold him down and failing, but this was Monster... no worries.

This was kinda late for us. Our usual routine involves getting up at 4am and being in bed at 8pm, it was after 8pm. Monster told me her eyes were stinging and she was starting to not care that she got to watch TV (in her mind the best thing about the ER is you get to watch TV) she was cold and her and Rex wanted to go home and sleep. I agreed.

The Doctor made a big deal about checking to see if the toe was numb before going in and cleaning it up. I was getting too tired to watch & learn, and Monster just wanted them to stop interrupting the show and get on with it! She couldn't feel them and they just did not have to keep asking, she would tell them when it bothered her. So the doctor proceeded to lance the area drain the puss, cut out the dead skin and then cut the toenail so that it wasn't growing down anymore.
Monster did think it felt rather like chopsticks on the end of her toe but that was her only comment about the procedure. I am not sure if the doctor was disappointed or shocked when she turned to me after the chopstick comment and said, "This is were usually even the big men cry."
Yeah, well... They aren't as tough as Monster.

So ends our adventure at the hospital, they gave her chocolate milk as a reward for being the most incredible kid on the planet, wrapped her toe up in a big bandage, gave her antibiotics, and a note to get her out of P.E. the next day. That was a little tricky at first, the doc said no PE and Monster had to be sure the doc was sure about that... and then was a little sad when the doctor expanded it to include any rough actives on your feet, like jumping, hoping climbing, scrambling, moving in general...
We went home and slept. I was tired.

Next morning I have to call and let the bus know that I was driving the kids and they wouldn't be riding the bus to school. They get all annoyed if you do not call and do not ride the bus. hummm thinking about it they get all annoyed if you call cuz you missed the bus when it came by early too. Since I had to drive Monster to school I didn't see why I couldn't just drive all the kids, the schools are fairly close to each other.

I slowed the van down and told The Eldest to jump out as we went past her school, she did not find that funny. I did actually stop the van and let her out. But it was not inside the campus, apparently that is an insult to teenagers. Of course it is an insult if you drive them up to the doors as well.
Next stop was the Monster's school and last the Thunderous One's. I also had a plate of pancakes to drop off to My Love.
I was sure I had everything I needed...the note for the PE teacher, the medicine, the script from the doctor, a plunge syringe to give the medicine... so all I had to do was walk her in, explain her toe and give the medicine to the nurse... I Was Wrong.

I explained to the secretary what was going on and then we sent Monster to class with a hall pass and the letter for PE. She went to get the Health Tech.
The schools do not have a Nurse, there is one Licensed Nurse for the whole district and all the others are called Health Techs and they work under her license. At first they weren't even going to take the medicine and asked why I can't give it to her at home, I explained she has to take the medicine 4x a day, if it was only 3 times I would have no problem. As it was, she had to have a dose while at school.
So, then they said they had to have a doctors permission, I gave them the script... they didn't want to except it. I am not sure why but I was starting to get upset. It seemed that this was such a simple thing, I had everything they had asked for.... they decided it was what they needed after all, but then we hit an impasse.
We had only one bottle.
According to school policy they can not send the medication home with a child or except medication from a child. I was stumped. I did not have a second bottle, I could not get a second bottle. They suggested that maybe my mother could help and come give Monster her medication during the day...


I told them I had no one and took the bottle back I thanked them for trying and tried to leave. I was trying so hard to not be upset, but I was. And I was so mad at myself because this is such a small thing! I have battled Dragons for crying out loud and I was reduced to tears because a health Tech had rules to follow. My tears and feelings baffled me, I could not understand why I felt so helpless and defeated. I never once blamed them, I have worked in service long enough that I understand people are not usually trying to be jerks, they have rules and guidelines that they have to follow and meet. I was so overwhelmed I didn't even think to ask them what they could do... I just gave up and cried, which is very not my style.
I felt stupid.

They did solve it and I am horrified that I cried... I am not going to share what they came up with as I do not know how far she was bending the rules for me and I do not want to get her in trouble.

So you see what sounds like a simple adventure with an infected toe isn't.
I have lost it.
I can take no more.
And I finally figured out why.
This month I have lost both of my best friends.
One moved to another state and I didn't even get to say good-bye and the other one died suddenly.
His death really hit me.
Her moving feels almost the same.

Before those losses I was barely hanging on from all the OTHER things that were happening, Eldest had another manic episode which led to her cutting again, Thunderous One decided he doesn't have to do any school work or chores because it is stupid and My Love and I had some relationship issues that we were trying desperately to solve, and my health took a nose dive.
Until they are not there you really REALLY do not know what a blessing Friends are.
Really Good Friends and BEST friends are even more precious and rare.

Maybe I should take my own advice and go for a long soak in a hot tub. I know what the real problem is... the problem is I do not have my best friends to talk to, no one to release the daily stresses. No one to make me laugh at myself or the troubles of daily life.
So, now what do I do?

Isn't that always the question we who are left behind are left with...
now what do i do?

Friday, August 12, 2011

I want to win a contest please help!

Yes this is my first attempt at self promoting... I may need pointers from you more experienced self promoters out there.
I am entering a Contest for tickets to a Concert I want to go to and dad gum it I deserve a weekend off!
I mean really, I don't get nearly enough chocolate and I haven't even gotten a t-shirt for my sainthood!
I SHOULD get tickets to an outdoor concert that will have LOTS of music That I happen to enjoy!
So here is where you, my beautiful, gracious, giving followers come in...
I made a video and all you have to do is LIKE it, you don't have to Watch it, just LIKE it!
The Top 3 Videos will get not just tickets but REALLY GOOD TICKETS!
Please Like me!

I can think of no more to add to the begging at the moment... but as soon as I do I will edit it in!

Here is the video: RockJam

ps I believe my sister the editor will cringe greatly upon reading this entry...that just makes me giggle with glee to picture!

**** EDIT*****
I changed the link to the video... seems they want the likes for a video to come thru their page... so if you loved me enough to like it the first time woud you be so gracious as to Like it again?

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Color, Color, Color

I signed up to do a color swap , so obviously I had to pick my favorite color. Everyone who knows me know what my favorite color. I bet you can guess it too.
I always thought that my senor prom dress summed me up pretty well...Full length forest green suede leather.
Yep, that's me baby... Dark Green Leather.
I love to color green, I post in green, I have green pens (with & with out green ink), green many I wear it almost every day, green sheets, green cups, green lotion, green books, green plant pots, green jewelry (wedding ring is an emerald) get it, I LOVE GREEN!!!

But, I have a secret...shhhhh...
Green is not my only favorite color.
I love Dark Red, too.
If you look around you will see I have tucked Dark Red in to my house quietly...Dark Red glass lamps, Dark Red afghan on the couch, Dark Red candles in the dinning room (I love candles), Dark Red stained glass in the living room, Dark Red Roses in my garden, Dark Red notebook in my purse...
Even when I had on that full length dark green leather dress, I had Dark Red lips and nails.

My Love, being the artist, says they are complementary colors. Making them logical favorites.
I, being...well me, began to wonder if there was something deeper.
So I looked up the personality colors connection.
I went to

Here is what they said about Red.
Red: The color of strength, health, and vitality, Red is often the color chosen by someone outgoing, aggressive, vigorous and impulsive—or someone who would like to be! It goes with an ambitious nature but those who choose it can be abrupt at times, determined to get all they can out of life, quick to judge people and take sides. Red people are usually optimistic and can’t stand monotony; they are rather restless and not at all introspective, so they may be unaware of their own shortcomings. They find it hard to be objective and may blame others for any mishaps. Quiet people with a preference for red may feel the need for the warmth, strength and life-giving qualities of the color, or they blanket their true feelings under a sober exterior. Red is usually chosen by people with open and uncomplicated natures, with a zest for life.

Ooookay.... lets try green...

Green: The color of harmony and balance, Green symbolizes hope, renewal and peace, and is usually liked by the gentle and sincere. Greens are generally frank, community-minded people, fairly sociable but preferring peace at any price. Green people can be too self-effacing, modest and patient, so they may get exploited by others. They are usually refined, civilized and reputable.

Hummm.... and here I was thinking it was my inner self is red and my public persona is green.
Or maybe I am Balanced! I love Balance.
Maybe I need some more introspective...oh wait I can't, red is not at all introspective!
You know what, that did not help at all!
I guess I don't care what they mean, I love Dark Greens and Dark Reds!
And now that there is no exciting meaning found I have no way to wrap up this post!

How close is your colors definition to you?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Zen Dog

We have 2 dogs... both we adopted from the pound together. the older dog is a rottweiler mix. He was about 5 years old when we got him. The thing with older dogs is you usually have to guess at their age. The story we were told about Moses when we adopted him was that he had been in a 6x6 dog run for as long as they knew him. That his family had moved away and paid the neighbor to watch him for a month while they finished the move...they never came back.

Now Moses does something that I find rather moving...and to pull my heart strings My Love made up a story to go with it.

Every morning you can find Moses watching the sunrise. He will be sitting out in front of his dog house, sitting facing the sun rise. He doesn't move, he doesn't bark... he just sits serenely and watches the sun come up.

One Morning while watching him My Love came up with a story about Moses... That his first owner had actually been an older guy, probably retired, and every morning he would take a cup of coffee out on his porch and watch the sunrise with his dog sitting beside him, and together they would greet the day in quiet contemplation of sunrise. Eventually the man had to move in with family because of his health, but he still managed to get out every morning to watch the sunrise with his dog...then the man died and the family moved... so every morning Moses watches the sunrise and remembers his friend.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Lost Muse

You would think with all this free time I have now that I am unemployed that I would be able to write a book about our daily experiences! Unfortunately my muse is lost.
I did manage to update the Chocolate Assignment with 2 whole posts!
Perhaps my muse will return soon and I will be able to share more with you all.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Dairy Addiction

We are struggling with an addiction in the house. It is very easy to make jokes about it and not take it too seriously.

But It is.

As you all should know by now (and if you don't, read more of the blog ) Thunderous has a form of Autism.
One thing I had found in my own research of his needs, that was consistently overlooked by his heath professionals, was an addiction to milk. I can't site you the location I first found this little bit of info but I can tell you it has held true.
Thunderous is addicted.
When he was small he would only eat macaroni and cheese... we jokingly gave him mini cheeses and a cheese sampler as presents to him on his birthday or Christmas. That is how much he loves all dairy products.
If a day was difficult he could be calmed by milk.

It seems that he and many other Autistics have an addiction to Milk products... Casein to be precise, I believe.
Since this is a funny not funny little 'quirk' that is so often over looked I have mentioned it to many friends that have children with Autism... not one had heard of it before, but all of them have benefited from the knowledge. I decided I should share it with all of you, perhaps you can benefit as well.

At one point we had to take him completely off of all dairy and checked foods for casein content. I recall the terrible breakdowns and how hard it was for him to go without his favorite food. I remembered reading it is processed in their brain like morphine is in others brains. It gives them a sense of well being... that doesn't sound too bad right? I mean what could be wrong with that?

Have you ever experience a withdraw?
THAT is what is wrong with it.
The withdraw is just as real and painful for them as it is for any addict.

We joke with him now about his addiction and he monitors his intact. He loves it but knows he shouldn't have too much. He still has a hard time not going crazy with milk... in fact the exchange that got me thinking on this topic went like this:
Monster, angry that the milk was all gone and her brother was at fault began an argument with him on if he was addicted...
"You are so addicted! If you had a gallon of milk and a platter of cheese you wouldn't stop eating till it was all gone!"
"No I wouldn't!" he stormed right back at her, "I'd only eat HALF the platter of cheese!"

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Today is Haiku Worthy

At negitive 10,
even drinking hot coco,
your boogers will freeze!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Geek and Gamer Girls

this is in reply to my sisters blog ...
this is the one that I can relate to...